“God’s grace saved me from my anxiety. He saved my life.”
These are the words written by a well-beloved friend of mine who has completely changed my life in so many ways. Her name is Emily, and we had the privilege of meeting each other in November of 2016 in a very hot and dry place known as Mesa, Arizona. From day one Emily and I became close and we knew that we were meant to be in each other’s lives, but for very unexpected reasons.
As time went on and Emily and I got to know each other a little more, we came to find that we have a lot more in common than we thought. We have the same fears, goals, hopes, and dreams. We found that the both of us suffer in ways that only we know, and as we were able to open up about these dark hidden things to each other we found that we may not be as alone as we thought.
Emily wrote a deeply personal story about her experience with anxiety and how the grace of God allowed her to be healed.
What gets her out of bed each morning? Knowing there is hope. Knowing that things will be okay in the end.
….let’s flash back about 15 months before I met Emily. July of 2015. 3 weeks before I was to leave for my mission trip to Arizona. I was making a long trek from Idaho to Missouri. My mom was in the car with me and we had left Idaho at 4:30 am. Me, being the college student I was, pulled an all-nighter with my best friend because we weren’t going to see each other for a while and I was so terribly sad to leave her. My mother, being the kind human she is, drove from 4:30 am to about 1 pm when I decided to take over, I was certain I was fully rested and fully capable of driving.
All I can remember was my mom screaming my name, waking up in a beat up car with blood all over me, and a shattered car window.
Next, I was waking up in an ambulance, with one nurse holding my head together, another poking me with needles, and another asking me questions like “what day is it?” “can you wiggle your toes for me?”
I was confused. I had no idea what had just happened, or why this doctor was holding my head together, the only thing I did know was that I was hurt. Suddenly, fear came over me, and all I could think about was my mission trip to Arizona. The fact that I was supposed to be leaving in three weeks. And from that moment forward I promised myself that I would do anything to get myself to Arizona in three weeks.
My injuries turned out to be pretty minor for how serious of an accident it was. My head was split open…it basically looked like someone took my scalp, put it through a meat grinder and placed it back on my head. They told me my hair would never grow back. I was in a wheelchair for weeks because my head injuries were so severe I couldn’t stand on my own. I lost all sense of self. I couldn’t do anything on my own, I couldn’t shower, use the bathroom, nothing. But it turned out to be one of the greatest humbling experiences for me because I learned to allow others to help and serve me.
It turned out to be a miracle, but I ended up being able to walk and go on my mission trip the day I was supposed to. But to this day I still struggle with the psychological and physical effects from my accident. I get headaches often, and have the biggest anxiety everytime I drive. It’s a struggle each and everyday for me, but I know, that God’s grace saves me from my anxiety each and everyday. I know I am not alone.
My life easily could have been taken from me that day. And how I thank God each and everyday for saving my life that day, because it allowed me to be able to know the value of life and to help people like Emily.
Here’s Emily’s story: